MEDIATION PROGRAM

State of Rhode Island
Family Court
Family Services

Dear Parent:

You have been referred to the Family Court Family Services for mediation of conflicts regarding child custody or visitation.

This pamphlet is designed to help you understand the mediation process including the goals and purposes of the meetings to be scheduled for you.

Where children are involved, divorce or separation is not the end of your family; it is a reorganization. Much will be gained by your working together as parents to help your children become caring, responsible adults.

If you have a good relationship with your children and they feel the love, acceptance and guidance of both parents, they will thrive and grow.

Very truly yours,
Jeremiah S. Jeremiah
Chief Judge

What is Mediation?

Mediation is a way of settling disagreements about the care of children following separation and divorce without a courtroom battle. The process helps both parents find a resolution of the problems they may face during separation and divorce. Through mediation the rights and responsibilities of each parent are identified. The goal is to reorganize the family, not to "award" custody to one parent and make a "visitor" of the other.

With the assistance of trained mediators, parents meet together in an informal setting to decide on a parenting plan for the future which best meets their individual needs and the needs of their children. The mediators are neutral and objective; their role is to help parents work cooperatively in resolving their disputes so they can carry on with the task of parenting their children.

The mediation meetings are two hours in length, numbering between one and three sessions. They are scheduled as soon as possible from date of referral. A meeting may be scheduled just for the children if the parents and mediators feel that their participation would be helpful.
Parents are encouraged to discuss their own desires and plans as well as the present and future needs of their children in an open and positive way. The focus is on the future rather than the past.

Why is Mediation Helpful?

The mediation program was developed to provide people with a choice, leaving the responsibility for making decisions where it belongs - with the family.

While every family may not resolve their disputes regarding the future care of the children, most have found mediation useful in reaching acceptable agreements defining the ongoing relationships and responsibilities to each other as well as to the children.

There are many reasons why people have found mediation helpful and beneficial:

1. Conflict is natural and normal and issues concerning parenting are emotional and personal rather than legal. Mediation is a method of resolving conflicts.

2. Mediation emphasizes that divorce is not the end of the family rather, a reorganization of how the family operates.

3. The stress and anxiety associated with separation and divorce, particularly for children, can be reduced. Participation in mediation assists parents in affirming their affection and concern for the children and can reduce the normal fears and anxieties of children concerning the "loss" of one parent.

4. Self-determination and direct involvement in decision-making is effective in promoting positive and lasting results for the parents and children. Parents who invest time and energy putting together a plan for their children are more likely to adhere to the plan and are less likely to undermine it than those parents whose decision has been made for them by the Court.

5. Research indicates that the successful adjustment of children following separation and divorce is directly related to the level of cooperation between parents and their continued involvement in the lives of their children. Mediation encourages participants to see themselves and each other as capable parents with a continuing responsibility to plan together for the future of their children.

What Happens After Mediation?

The mediation process normally concludes after one to three sessions with the parents reaching a full or partial agreement.

Following mediation, a report in the form of a Memorandum of Understanding, is prepared by the mediators and is forwarded to the attorneys and the Court. This report contains no personal information concerning family members or the marital situation and includes only the agreements reached by the parties. Following an opportunity for each parent to review and discuss the agreement with their attorneys, the agreement will be submitted to the Court for review. If the agreement is approved by the Court, it will be entered as an enforceable order of the Court.

In the event that parents are unable to reach an agreement, the attorneys are notified of the issues that remain in dispute. The fact that some parents are unable to reach an agreement is not viewed as a "failure". Mediation is "hard work" and parents completing the process demonstrate concern for the well-being of their children.

Most post-divorce child care arrangements will require periodic revision and adjustment due to changes in the situations and life style of the parents and the changing needs of the children as they mature. It is hoped that parents will continue to work together to resolve any new disputes and modify the original agreement where necessary to meet the changing needs of their family.